breakthroughs

Tonight I made two important discoveries. The first one was that I can let go of this urgent need to feel connected to other people and just be satisfied with being myself, and how this is so incredibly satisfying. Not completely there yet but it's a step in a direction that feels right.
The second is bound to change me drastically, at least in the way I live my life internally. The discovery I was gifted was that my mind is not enough to figure everything out. My life path, my mission, my truth, won't come just from my mind itself. I can't think my way onto my path and destiny. I'm starting to understand the true meaning of surrender.. at least at a different level than before. It's becoming a reality.
I've been putting a lot of stress on myself over the last few years or so trying to delve into myself and understand everything and get to the root of things and figure out what i was supposed to be doing and where i'm supposed to be. It's gotten me to a really incredible place in my life and it feels right, it feels wonderful. yet i haven't figured out anything that i had set out to. i have a few vague ideas that came from actually exploring different things, but not from the thinking itself, you know?? Bottom line is that it's time for me to surrender to the powers that be and flow with life instead of constantly trying to make things happen. Let the thinking part come naturally instead of forcing it. now it's time to let things fall into place.
I also realized today that i now have the rest of my life to do whatever i want, and there is absolutely nothing stopping me.